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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22758160">Stakes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/themantlingdark/pseuds/themantlingdark'>themantlingdark</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Human, M/M, dialogue and crying, prelude to sibling incest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:27:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22758160</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/themantlingdark/pseuds/themantlingdark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A tardy Valentine's Day fic. Loki is an open book in large print.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki/Thor (Marvel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>163</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Stakes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>The bleached red letters of a Cirilla’s glowed dully at Loki from a dingy suburban strip mall while he waited at a traffic light. The window mannequins wore flimsy lingerie that was largely indistinguishable from sexy fill-in-the-blank Halloween costumes. Behind their flammable, ill-fitting corsets and fluorescent crotchless panties, he saw shelves lined with fleshlights and silicone dildos. The parking lot was packed with last-minute shoppers. He supposed it had likely been their busiest week of year.</p><p> </p><p>He stopped at the drugstore to pick up lip balm and found half the aisles heaped with candy. Nothing tempting. Mostly oversized heart-shaped suckers and chocolate assortments full of wax, castor oil, and vanillin. The dated graphic design on the boxes matched the music crackling from the store’s ancient speakers. Condoms and lube were featured on endcaps, deeply discounted, making sex look cheap and seasonal. </p><p> </p><p>The day had begun at fifteen degrees and was still steadily descending. By noon, the city had reached the single digits. Now the sun was getting low and the gauge on Loki’s dash read a round zero. He dreaded getting out of the car again, but he’d need to do it twice. Thor had asked him to bring sake, which meant flushed cheeks, affection, and staying up far later than it would take for the alcohol to leave their systems--which meant there would be no skipping the trip to the liquor store. </p><p> </p><p>When Loki stepped inside the shop, the scent and temperature sent his mind reeling between the seasons. A rack of roses faced the door, breathing sweet green and late summer into the dead winter air, shattering the grey with riotous shouts of color. </p><p>He’d never seen a vase in his brother’s house, but any glass would do. When he couldn’t decide on one bunch, he didn’t force himself to choose.</p><p>
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</p><p>Thor’s garage granted modest respite from the cold. Loki had just enough sensation left in his frozen limbs to let himself into the kitchen without dropping any bottles or bouquets. His brother’s broad back was there to greet him, curved over the counter with his work, muffling his hello without diluting its cheer. </p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>Two syllables with a bounce, like a horse leaping a ditch.</p><p>“Hey yourself,” Loki said, and kissed the side of Thor’s neck. “And happy Valentine’s Day.”</p><p>Thor half turned. Loki could see rice stuck to his brother’s knuckles, shiny and sweet with vinegar and sugar. “No one’s ever given me flowers before,” Thor murmured, thinking aloud with his gaze gone inward. His eyebrows were raised into a single, dashed arc that struck Loki as sad.</p><p>“Well, here’s one for every year you’ve missed--and then some.” </p><p>“Thanks,” Thor grinned, and nudged Loki with his hip as he stepped aside to make room at the sink.</p><p> </p><p>Loki filled all of Thor’s pilsner glasses with water and set the roses in them, then played with the arrangement until something like a gradient had been achieved. Coral, peach, orange, and yellow tipped with red. Every petal sparkled like damp skin. When he had finished fussing, he stood breathing them in until his nose went deaf to their scent.</p><p>“Did you manage to stay warm out there?” Thor asked. </p><p>Loki stuck his fingers up Thor’s shirt in reply and got a shrinking yelp for his trouble. He leaned back against the counter to watch the flurry of motion: Thor flicking his hands to knock rice from them, hastily washing them, then striding off amid the rustle and flutter of cotton, drying himself with a dish towel as he went. </p><p>The swift drumming of heels on the hardwood bounced into Loki’s soles as the sound hit his ears, seeming to close a circuit. He heard the furnace kick on a few seconds later. </p><p>“You wanna change into something more comfortable?” Thor called. </p><p>Loki wound his way back to the bedrooms and found his brother tossing soft, warm clothes onto the bed. </p><p>“I’m doing miso soup, so at least we’ll have one hot thing for dinner,” Thor said, as he rifled through a low drawer.</p><p>“The sake I got is one that’s good warm.” </p><p>“Perfect,” Thor said, and eyed the pile of clothes on the mattress. “Feel free to add layers.” He gestured at the closet and dresser before taking off his button-up and swapping it for an ancient hoodie. Loki pulled on two long-sleeved tees and a sweatshirt. Then both of the brothers hopped and flapped their way out of their trousers and into flannel pajama bottoms and chunky woolen stockings. “Tried to talk myself out of sushi and into stew or a roast, but I’ve been craving sushi for so long.”</p><p>“The heart wants what it wants,” Loki nodded. </p><p> </p><p>The soft crush of rich tuna and the wet snap of cucumber were delicious in any weather. The zing of wasabi woke them from the drowse wrought by long work days and even longer weeks. </p><p> </p><p>When they were finished eating, they gathered up the remaining wine and skated across the parquet in their socks, then settled on the sofa to drink and let their bodies unwind.</p><p>“Can we have a fire?” Loki asked, tugging a throw off the back of the couch and draping it over his legs.</p><p>“Might be too cold.”</p><p>“Too cold for fire?” Loki laughed, elbowing his brother lightly for being absurd.</p><p>Thor nodded. “There’s a column of cold, dense air in the chimney. Like a cork. The air in the living room is warmer and lighter. The smoke might get blocked by the cold air and start pouring into the house.”</p><p>“Shit,” Loki breathed.</p><p>“I’ll see if I can get a warm draft going.”</p><p> </p><p>Thor opened the flue and pushed the iron grate to the back of the fireplace, then filled the space with candles, lighting the first with a match and the rest with a taper. </p><p>Time seemed to blur to Loki. Not the minutes, but the centuries. Maybe millennia. Thor’s house was old. Hearths and candles were older. Fire was older still. As old as stars. To the eye, all the lights glowed together, though some were already fading or gone.</p><p>“Looks like a shrine,” Loki said, and Thor hummed and settled back against the sofa beside him. Loki let his head fall onto his brother’s shoulder. Thor took the bait and rested his cheek on Loki’s crown. He heard a pleased sigh leave Loki’s nose.</p><p>“It does. To St. Valentine,” Thor said, and clinked their cups together.</p><p>“What was he about, if he was ever really anything?” Loki asked. </p><p>“Who knows,” Thor shrugged. “Sometimes I think we only saint people so that we can feel like we killed a piece of God.”</p><p>Loki barked a laugh. “Sounds like the humanity I know.”</p><p>“And then we do as we please with the days we name for them.”</p><p>“Go binge-drinking for St. Patrick,” Loki said, and felt Thor nod against him. “So what are we doing today that we don’t do every other day? We can always buy candy and greeting cards and obsess about sex.”</p><p>Thor hummed and went quiet. Loki drained his wine and topped it off again.</p><p>“Today, we’re all giving ourselves an out.”</p><p>“How so?” Loki asked, with his lips at his cup, sending his voice ringing against the porcelain.</p><p>“Egos have always been fragile. No one enjoys rejection. Today’s the day you can ask someone out <em> lightly</em>. Low stakes.”</p><p>“No harm no foul.”</p><p>“Exactly,” Thor said. “It’s customary. If it doesn’t work out, you can tell yourself you were only going through the motions anyway.”</p><p>“And if it does work?” Loki asked </p><p>“Then it’s like winning the lottery: against the odds, but entirely welcome.”  </p><p>Loki laughed and took another pull of wine.</p><p>“Which reminds me: promise me you’ll never play cards for money.”</p><p>“I won’t play cards at all,” Loki said. “Can’t stand it. Sitting around with your friends but basically ignoring them. And board games are even worse. If I’m going to be making calculations and scheming and strategizing, I want to build a fucking bookshelf by the end of it.”</p><p>“Good policy.”</p><p>“What have you got against me gambling all of the sudden?” Loki asked, remembering Thor’s original request.</p><p>“You lost your poker face.”</p><p>“Is that so?” Loki said, and craned his neck to look at Thor’s expression. Thor was staring at the fire and gently nodding.</p><p>“Yep.”</p><p>“When was this?”</p><p>"It went missing the day you met Jane,” Thor said, and cocked his head to peer at Loki from his right eye. “And I don't think it was a coincidence.”</p><p>Loki opened his mouth half an inch and left it there. His nostrils twitched. He blinked fast. </p><p>When he set his glass down and made for the door, Thor followed. Loki bent for his shoes and Thor hooked him by the waist and hauled him backward into the kitchen.</p><p>Loki wheeled his arms and scrambled to keep his balance while his head was upside down and his blood was full of wine. He straightened with a snap and spun around to shout, but froze when Thor’s hand swung toward his face. </p><p>Not a hit. </p><p>News. </p><p>The weather report was open on the offered screen of Thor’s phone, with a warning at the top. Six degrees below zero, but fifteen worse than that with the wind chill.</p><p>“Looks like it should be Celsius,” Loki marveled. “I’ve never seen the numbers that low.”</p><p>“No one has. So you’re stuck here tonight. You can cold-cock me and leave me on the floor, but you can’t go outside in this.”</p><p>Loki nodded. His mouth was open again and his eyes were glazed, though not with alcohol.</p><p>“For three years, I only saw you at Mom and Dad’s. You declined every invitation I made.”</p><p>“It’s-” Loki began, then stopped and cleared his throat. “I wasn’t… I’m not in love with her.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Loki frowned and pulled his lips between his teeth.</p><p>“You blush when I meet your eyes,” Thor began, and watched Loki’s lungs fill with breath, “but you never look away. The less I wear, the wider you smile. The more you drink, the closer you sit to me.” The breath left Loki’s breast and his eyes welled over. Thor brushed the drops away with the pads of his thumbs. “You were always affectionate before Jane came, but now,” Thor shook his head and searched for words, “you’re something else. Romantic, I think.”  </p><p>“It’s-”</p><p>“Four dozen roses and a kiss on the neck.”</p><p>Loki went to stand at the sink in case the wine and the sushi came back up. Thor got an ice cube from the freezer and gave it to his brother to help him soothe his stomach.</p><p>“The day she left, you came over as soon as I called. Made it here in under ten minutes. Must have averaged fifty miles an hour. Stayed up all night holding me on the sofa until I passed out in the morning.” </p><p>“I remember,” Loki breathed. He traced circles around his eyes with the end of the ice cube, pausing to suck the extra water away when it threatened to drip.</p><p> </p><p>Thor filled two cups with cold water from the pitcher in the fridge. Loki followed him back to the living room. Thor downed his drink in deep gulps while Loki took only a careful sip.</p><p>“Should I try some firewood now?” Thor asked.</p><p>“No, it’s not worth getting smoked out. It’s not like we can open the windows.”</p><p>“True.”</p><p>“And the candles are pretty. And quiet.”</p><p>Thor shut the flue to let the warmth of the flames linger in the fireplace. When he turned, Loki was perched at the edge of a cushion, spine straight, shoulders back, knees and hips at right angles. </p><p>Thor sat at the far end of the couch and patted his lap. “Here. Give me your feet. I’ll do the pressure points for nausea.” </p><p>When Loki had settled on his back, Thor pressed the inside of Loki’s right arch, just behind the ball of his foot, and held it. He felt more weight on the tops of his thighs as the tension bled from Loki’s muscles and his bones sagged. After five minutes alternating between Loki’s feet, Thor bent Loki’s knees and slid over to sit under them so that he could work the point at the base of the kneecap. “Give me your hands.” Loki was limp now and snaked his arms toward his brother more than lifted them. Thor pressed the spot between the tendons below his brother’s inner wrists. To finish, he pinched the muscle between the thumb and index finger.</p><p>“Why did she leave you?” Loki whispered, and Thor huffed a laugh.</p><p>“She said I was never really with her. That I was always looking back over my shoulder for you.”</p><p>Loki curled away and rolled off the sofa, thudding to the floor in a jumble of limbs. He sat and wept with his head hanging between his knees.</p><p>“She was right,” Thor said.</p><p>Loki sobbed harder. </p><p> </p><p>Loki’s first few attempts at speech were pulled back into his mouth by his stuttering breath. He waited for himself to calm while Thor finger-combed his hair.</p><p>“I went out on a few dates after you met her. Coffees and dinners, mostly,” Loki said. “Everyone wanted to talk movies, so I did.”</p><p>“You don’t give a damn about movies.”</p><p>“Exactly. But, after two hours, they all left with the impression that I do.”</p><p>“You’re pure bookworm,” Thor said. “More like shark.”</p><p>“Nineteen seventy-three, Belmont Stakes,” Loki said.</p><p>“Secretariat, by thirty-one lengths,” Thor supplied, still audibly boggling as he said it, though he’d known since he was six.</p><p>“That’s you,” Loki said. “An unbeatable lead.”</p><p>Thor nodded.</p><p>“That’s also the problem,” Loki sighed.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“More to lose. If you left, I’d miss so much of you--of myself, too. And if you-”</p><p>Loki’s throat closed up and his eyes welled over. He shook his head.</p><p>“If I what?” Thor asked, and waited.</p><p>“If you said no, you’d be saying no to all of me.”</p><p>“But the heart wants what it wants.”</p><p>“It certainly does,” Loki agreed.</p><p>Thor let out a low whistle and fell back against the cushions. “A standstill.”</p><p>“A standstill,” Loki nodded.</p><p>“And what if I didn’t?”</p><p>“Didn’t what?” Loki asked.</p><p>“Say no or leave.”</p><p>“Then you’d see even more of me and you’d probably just-”</p><p>“Oh god,” Thor groaned, “now you’re inventing problems. Come on. Let’s get cleaned up.” He rose and scooped Loki off the floor, then herded his brother into the bathroom and found him a toothbrush.</p><p> </p><p>“In here,” Thor called, when the lights went out in the bath and hall.</p><p>Loki found his brother laying the comforter from the guest bed over the quilt on his own mattress. The roses were split between the nightstands and the room smelled soft and powder-sweet.</p><p>“Am I on the sofa?”</p><p>“No, you're with me,” Thor said.</p><p>“What’s wrong with the other bed? The guest room is warmer.”</p><p>“I know, but it’s a double.”</p><p>“That’s what I sleep in at home,” Loki said.</p><p>“Yeah, I know you do, but I don't know how… or why.”</p><p>“Room’s too small for anything else.”</p><p> </p><p>They stretched out under the blankets and Loki made a soft, descending hum.</p><p>“All right?” Thor asked.</p><p>“My feet aren’t hanging off the end.”</p><p>“They’re not supposed to be. How’s your stomach?”</p><p>“Better now.”</p><p>They shut off the lamps and settled, tucking and fluffing the blankets around themselves. Thor’s street was dim and quiet, and the blinds and curtains were drawn to keep out the cold. It left the room in darkness deeper than Loki was accustomed to.</p><p>Ten minutes later, Thor could still hear the cottony scuff of his brother’s toes wiggling. </p><p>“Can’t sleep?”</p><p>“Pretty wired,” Loki confessed.</p><p>“Mm. It’s early, too. We don’t have to sleep. I just couldn’t navigate gravity anymore on top of everything else.”</p><p>“Multitasking is bullshit,” Loki said, and leaned to flip his light back on before rolling over to face his brother. “Pretty sure I read it literally causes brain damage.”</p><p>“I believe it.” </p><p>Thor went up on his elbow and brushed back the curls that had spilled over Loki’s shoulder and pooled on his cheek. </p><p>Loki closed his eyes and felt Thor’s fingers tracing his face, lightly brushing his brow, nose, and temple.</p><p>“The worst of it was I couldn’t even hate her,” Loki huffed. “Jane. She was delicious. Brilliant. Funny. Just…”</p><p>“A victim of circumstance.”</p><p>Loki gave a tight nod. When he looked, Thor’s face was smooth. Soft. Kind. It sent the lump out of his throat.</p><p>“Could never think of what to say to you anyway,” Loki whispered. His eyes were wide and glassy. “Even before she came. And, whatever the words, the reality would be, ‘Thor, come be who-knows-what with me until some MAGA-hat-wearing shit-brick sets us both on fire.’”</p><p>Thor’s laugh was high and fast, surprised, but unfazed. “Is ‘who-knows-what’ a name you’re looking for, or a shape you can’t see?”</p><p>“Yes,” Loki said, and Thor laughed again and nudged Loki’s knees with his own. “Some days I think I want everything,” Loki whispered. “Others I just want you around. Under one roof. Reading next to me in bed. Playing video games while I take a nap. Talking with me all through dinner.”</p><p>“So it’s <em> shapes </em> you <em> can </em> see. Plural.”</p><p>“I suppose so.”</p><p>“Well, that makes sense. No one wants the same thing every day. It gets boring and breeds resentment.”</p><p>Loki hummed and shuffled closer until Thor gathered him up in his arms. “And the words?” Loki whispered.</p><p>“Boyfriend is for babies,” Thor said, and Loki snorted and nodded from his shelter beneath Thor’s chin. “Partner is for business. Lover is TMI with a side of baked-sixties-swinger.”</p><p>Loki was giggling now and squirming, as revolted by the word as he was delighted by his brother’s knack for knowing his mind.</p><p>“Brother is plenty, don’t you think?”</p><p>Loki nodded. “It’s the one I keep coming back to.”</p><p>
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